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Wednesday, February 18, 2004

Her citizenship was revoked 

As reported elsewhere, Dana has taken a peek at the 19-page proposal offered up for "Citizen Girl," aka the book by the Nanny Diaries duo (Emma McLaughlin and Nicola Kraus, but really, no one remembers their names anymore) that was shelved by Random House last week. Whether Dana was lucky to see this proposal, however, remains in serious question based on her reaction:

The whole thing read as though the writers were snorting rails off each others' fat advance checks the entire time. And also being distracted by butterflies. Reading it made my sphincter tighten impossibly and I became nauseated. "I'm impressed you got through the whole thing," Caftan Lady told me right before she ripped the smudged pages from my hands and roared off on her Ducati.

I must admit that the best rumor I've heard about the debacle was that whoever ghost-wrote THE NANNY DIARIES wasn't available for CITIZEN GIRL and the poor women actually had to try writing the book on their own. More's the pity, really. I mean, who wouldn't want to read a novel whose opening paragraph repeats the word "penis" so many times that it ceases to become an interesting word by the paragraph's end? God knows what havoc they would have wreaked on real curse words; they might have rendered them utterly tedious and banal. So alas, it looks like McLaughlin and Kraus will be packed up to the one-hit wonder category; who's next in the sophomore jinx class to scrutinize? Lauren Weisberger's a pretty good bet.

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